i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
this will be a night to untag.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
