Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
