FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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