I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
