took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize