the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
