Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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