Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
