David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
