omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
