they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
