I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They took my balls.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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