You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
