Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
