it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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