I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
