honey bunches of taint.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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