I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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