You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize