a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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