You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
