I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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