So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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