Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
