So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
