What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
