She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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