At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
