You're so nebulous sometimes
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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