I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
