Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need a beard to bite.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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