there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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