Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
