that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
