I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
