hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
