I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
