got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
