he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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