Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
