White coat. Heels.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
