is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
