I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
