and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
