are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
