i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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