My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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