never play flip cup with pint glasses
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
