he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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