If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
