Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
