how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize