So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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