My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize