i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
