Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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