Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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