I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
