i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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