I puked a lego.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Too much gin, very little bucket
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
