I'm jealous of your bromance
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
