i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
