I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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