Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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