we have pet lesbian snakes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
