is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
